This site is in the process of being moved to a different platform. All current posts will be updated. No new posts will be made on this specific platform. The new location will be on Substack. You can view the progress at lyonsse.substack.com. I would greatly appreciate if you would follow me there.
I have carried the regret for my mistakes an entire lifetime. I need to share these memories for myself as a way to understand and heal. I’m hoping once I get this story out of me, I can put it to rest. Maybe I won’t hate myself so bad. “The truth will set you free”, as Jesus says.
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My Story, One Step At A Time
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Home At Last
Read more: Home At LastAfter my sit down discussion with Janice, and signing the papers that I did not read or look at, I gathered my clothes and headed back to Virginia. At long last I was homeward bound. I could have cared less about locating Jesse. My thoughts focused on getting back home, finding a place to stay,…
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Fraudulent Husband Decided To Vanish
Read more: Fraudulent Husband Decided To VanishLife had settled into a routine even though the chaos. I had learned to keep my mouth shut and just ignore the circumstances. Even though it wasn’t uncommon for Jesse to disappear for a couple days at a time, there was an extended period when I didn’t see him. After several days, I asked Janice…
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Learning to Deal with Being Unwanted
Read more: Learning to Deal with Being UnwantedAfter the court appearance was dismissed by the judge, there was really no alternative but to once again go back to that horrible house and environment and attempt to make a go of things. It was a process of learning to deal with being unwanted. I was there but not acknowledged. Janice kept Cameron upstairs…
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Going To Court
Read more: Going To CourtAfter a night of peace and rest in the motel room, there was a knock at the door the next morning. It was a lady from child protective services. I’m assuming the officers who helped me had reported the situation to this division, probably as a requirement because of the baby and they knew I…
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Violent Escape Attempt
Read more: Violent Escape AttemptThis is one instance that sticks out in my mind almost above everything else. And this may be a longer post than normal because of what’s involved in explaining it to you. After the one failed attempt to escape the situation I was in, all I could think about was getting out. The tension had…
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Desperate Attempt To Escape
Read more: Desperate Attempt To EscapeWhen you are forced to live in a situation where their is absolutely no peace, it teaches you to never allow yourself to be that vulnerable again. It’s a horrible feeling to be trapped and not sure how to fix the circumstance. I got tired of being slapped around, of being knocked across the room,…
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A 12-Person Household
Read more: A 12-Person HouseholdArriving at the Hartman house, I wasn’t greeted with a positive reaction. It was more like wanting me to explain what I was doing there. I couldn’t imagine being married to a guy and having a newborn baby only a couple weeks old, and not be expected to want to figure out what was going…
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Moving To Tennessee
Read more: Moving To TennesseeEarly the next morning, there was a loud knock at the apartment door. My face was battered and eyes swollen, as I peered through the peephole to see the landlord standing there. As I opened the door, he hands me an eviction notice. Understandably he was furious and explained that he had received a lot…
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Snakes In The Van
Read more: Snakes In The VanThis is a continuation from my previous post which ended with me on the ground beside the van after Jesse had pitched a grass sack inside. After he drove away, I had to gather my composure and decide what I was going to do. Deep in the wheatgrass off of a dead end road, it…
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Life At Home With A Baby
Read more: Life At Home With A BabyAfter a week in the hospital, it was back to the apartment to begin experiencing life at home with a baby. My mother did visit once which was nice. I had no experience at all taking care of a baby so any help and guidance I could get was greatly appreciated. The Hartman’s had returned…
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Birth Of A Child
Read more: Birth Of A ChildI titled this post “Birth Of A Child” instead of “Birth Of My Child” because I never felt like it was my child to begin with. Jumping from the car didn’t cause me to go into labor, I went the full 9 months which seemed like an eternity. It was late April 1978, early one…
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Jumping From A Moving Car
Read more: Jumping From A Moving CarShortly after the holidays, Jesse and I returned to Virginia. Everything went on as usual with Jesse and his friends. At least I had enough sense not to be smoking and drinking while pregnant. Still subjected to the second-hand smoke in the apartment, but there was not much I could do about that. It was…